82 BITTER MEMORIES
ARIEL’S POV
“Why are you laughing? I’m only spitting facts,” I told Luke, making a puzzled face after he laughed to my recent words.
“Well, Ariel, you are spitting nonsense,” his tone was full of mockery. “You don’t have to start pretending now. One thing I finally realized, is that you don’t care for me. You don’t care about anyone in my family. You’re only concerned about your business.”
I took a deep breath. “I know why you’re saying that.”
“I know you do,” Luke responded immediately.
“It’s because of Riley, isn’t it?” I asked, and set my eyes on him. “You’re still mad at me for showing up late at her funeral.”
“Showing up late?” Luke glared at me. “Fuck that Ariel! You didn’t even show up
at all.”
“I know and I’m sorry. It’s just that I was…”
“Busy with business, am I not right?” Luke cut me off.
I sighed, being silent for a moment before I finally replied, “Yes.”
“Riley was an angel. She was so nice to you. And that’s how you repay her? Remember she died all because of you.”
“I know, and I felt guilty for that,” I vocalized, trying to find the words. “I felt guilty for not showing up. I felt guilty for not spending so much time with her, even when she wanted to. I felt guilty for so many things, Luke!”
Luke gazed at me in silence. I didn’t know what he was thinking at the moment, but he became hushed after I had spoken those words.
And I stared at him back, looking into his eyes, with no words escaping my lips. And having no knowledge of the silence. But I knew I had to compose myself, and keep it together at the moment. For what could I do right now? Argument
couldn’t be the option, and an expressed anger at him would never make things. work out.
“You feel guilty?” He asked softly, his eyes still fixed on me. I nodded, and he turned his face away, drinking from his glass of wine.
“Two weeks passed Luke, and you didn’t speak to me,” I carefully said.
“I didn’t want to.” Luke drank more wine. “I didn’t want to, Ariel. I just needed some time alone.”
“Of course, you needed some time alone,” I uttered underneath my breath. “But you were angry with me, weren’t you?”
Luke paused for a moment. He dropped his bottle of wine on the table, along with his glass. And a sigh moved out of his lips. “Yes, I was angry with you.”
“I know, it was quite clear,” I hushedly said. “But you should have at least brought it out to me. We could have find a way to…”
“To what?” He broke me off. “To fix things?” Luke chuckled promptly. “You’ve started thinking too far, Ariel, haven’t you?”
“What do you mean?” I slowly asked.
“After that night, you’ve pictured in your mind; the two of us dwelling together in Heaven.” Luke laughed softly. “It was just sex Ariel, no big deal.”
I simply looked at him while he continued, “I thank you for everything you did for me. You took poison all because of me, and you’ve gone through terrific moments all because of me. I appreciate that. And I know this is my grandfather’s promise; to treat you nice. But I have to say, Ariel, the feeling is, just not there.”
“What are you trying to say now?” I aksed him softly.
“I’m trying to say that I’m not in love with you. The feelings can’t just unfold in my heart. And even if I’m going to fall in love, I don’t think it’s going to be any time soon.”
Luke turned wine into his glass, fixing his eyes on me directly. “I know you also don’t love me. So please, let’s not act like we’re actually crazy over each other. Let’s not start talking like there’s something actually going on between us.”
After he had crammed the glass with wine, he dropped the bottle back on the table. “We’re only married. It’s what my grandfather wanted. And his wish has been fulfilled. You’re addressed as Ariel Reynold in anywhere you are, wherever you go. It’s actually a good thing. That can at least bring a smile on my grandfather’s face from up there. But the fact that we’re going to start craving a mutual feeling, the romantic type, is so absurd. Let’s just be ourselves.”
I breathed out deeply, looking downwards. “And by that, you want things to go back to the way it used to be?”
“Did things ever change, Ariel?” Luke asked, sipping from his wine.
“I think it did,” I replied, looking at him once more.”
BV BITTER MEMORIES
“You think it did, but it didn’t,” Luke enunciated, his hand perked up a little, as he had a hold of the glass of wine. “I remembered when I first saw you after five years. You came back, looking bold and ravishing. And we had a huge argument back then, which literally made no sense. I regret exchanging words with you at that moment.”
He drank his wine, and dropped the glass back on the table. “And then we had to get involved into another silly argument at the forest, where we met Foster. It still didn’t make any sense. And yes, I also regret exchanging words with you back then.”
“Why are you bringing all these up? What are you trying to say?” I asked, slowly moving my fingers together.
“I’m just trying to tell you, Ariel, that the hatred back then was intense. Just a little glance at you would make my heart burn in fury. I’m not going to lie. And in the days after that, when our conversation got deeper, things became a little bit different.”
“So that means it did change,” I spoke softly.
“No, it didn’t. We just thought things changed, but it didn’t. I had to realize that my anger toward you was still residing within me. You only had to worsen it, igniting the fire that mixes up with hatred.”
“Because I missed Riley’s funeral?”
“Yes, Ariel. It’s all hate right now for you,” he replied in a whisper.
“I’m not sure about that,” I disagreed.
“Why do you say so?” Luke aksed, giving me a curious face.
“The way you spoke to me those moments. The way you looked at me. The way you kissed me, all said one thing,” I spoke these words tardily.
“And what is that?” Luke asked.
“You developed the passion for me,” I replied, and he gave me a skeptical look. I continued, “You can say whatever you want Luke. And you do can do whatever you like. But I won’t forget those moments.”
“Keep it in your head if you want. Add it to the bitter memories. The times I treated you like trash. The times I made you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved,” Luke said, and drank wine.
At this point, I could recall the scenes, the divergent scenarios. The bitter moments, when tears came like a flood, and when it had to hurt like hell. Those were indeed painful. But why was he causing me to reminisce about it all?
